We have to get our reps in

Growth does not only require insight. Growth also requires practice.

Sometimes we already know what we want to do differently.

We know we need to speak up sooner. Set the boundary. Stay present in an uncomfortable conversation.
Regulate before reacting. Ask for help. Take responsibility for something we would rather avoid.
Trust ourselves a little more.

We may even understand where the old pattern came from. And that understanding matters.

But understanding something is not the same as being able to do something differently when the moment actually arrives. That part takes practice.

Welcome to the LCA Gym

The LCA Gym is a psychological place for practice. We come here, because some things become stronger through repetition.

Just like physical strength, psychological strength and skills aren’t built in one dramatic moment.

We build them by returning. Trying. Adjusting. Trying again.

A boundary may feel awkward the first few times we set it.

A difficult conversation may still make our heart race.

Receiving feedback without immediately defending ourselves may require conscious effort.

Choosing a different response when an old one comes naturally may feel uncomfortable.

That does not necessarily mean we are doing it wrong.

Sometimes it simply means: We are still getting our reps in.

Insight is only the beginning

Reflection can help us recognise a pattern. It can help us understand why something is difficult.

It can help us name what we want to change. But insight alone does not create a new skill.

Knowing that we struggle with boundaries, does not automatically make boundary-setting easier.

Recognising that we avoid conflict, does not mean the next difficult conversation will suddenly feel comfortable.

Understanding our anger, does not instantly teach us how to regulate before reaching the point of explosion.

Seeing the pattern gives us somewhere to begin. Practice helps us build another way of responding.

With enough repetition, something that once required enormous conscious effort can slowly become more familiar.

Not because we suddenly became a different person. But because we have practised the skill often enough for it to become available to us.

The fried chicken

Sometimes we know perfectly well what our next rep is. And we would still rather sit on the bench with the fried chicken.

In this reflection, the fried chicken represents our comfort zone.

The familiar. The easier option. The thing we would rather be doing than the thing that stretches us.

The distraction. The delay. The task we prefer. The habit that asks less of us.

There is nothing wrong with comfort. We need rest, pleasure and ease.

But sometimes comfort becomes the place we retreat to whenever growth asks us to tolerate discomfort.

We tell ourselves:

I’ll do it later.

Someone else can handle it.

I’m not ready yet.

This is too stressful.

And sometimes those things are true. But sometimes they are the language of avoidance.

The question then becomes:

Am I resting, or am I avoiding the rep?

Do I need recovery, or am I trying to escape the discomfort of learning?

The goal is not to eliminate comfort. The goal is to stop allowing comfort to quietly decide what we never learn.

When someone else keeps doing your reps

Sometimes the skill is ours to develop, but we keep looking for someone else to take over the difficult part.

We ask someone else to make the call. Handle the paperwork. Speak on our behalf. Solve the problem.

Learn the process for us. Carry the task because it makes us anxious, uncertain or overwhelmed.

And sometimes someone does.

A partner. A friend. A family member. A professional.

In that moment, the stress goes down.

But something else happens too: We miss the rep.

We do not build the skill. We do not increase our tolerance for the discomfort. We do not gather evidence that we can handle the task. And we do not develop the confidence that comes from doing something ourselves.

Sometimes one person will hold the boundary:

“I can do this with you, but I will not do it for you.”

And instead of practising, we look for someone else who will take over. That is where support can become enabling.

Not every act of help is enabling. Sometimes people genuinely need assistance, accommodation or support.

Sometimes capacity is limited. Sometimes help is exactly what is needed.

But when another person repeatedly removes a task that we are capable of learning, they may remove the opportunity for us to become more competent.

The immediate problem gets solved. The underlying skill does not get built.

And over time, avoidance can become reinforced.

The lesson quietly becomes: When this feels difficult enough, someone else will eventually take over.

That may bring relief. But relief and development are not the same thing.

Confidence needs evidence

Some forms of confidence cannot be handed to us. They have to be built through experience.

Through trying. Through being uncomfortable. Through making mistakes. Through figuring things out.

Through discovering:

I did not enjoy this.
I found it stressful.
And I still managed to do it.

That is a rep.

And enough reps can slowly turn:

“I can’t do this.”

into:

“I don’t like doing this, but I know I can handle it.”

Confidence is not simply believing that we are capable. It is built on the memory of having done something difficult before and knowing that we can meet it again.

Support without taking over

Healthy support does not always mean removing the weight. Sometimes it means standing beside someone while they carry it.

Breaking the task into smaller steps. Helping them prepare. Practising together. Staying nearby while they try.

Helping them reflect afterwards. Encouraging them to try again.

That kind of support does not say:

“You should do this alone.”

It says:

“You do not have to do this alone, but I am not going to take away the part that helps you grow.”

Sometimes care looks like helping.

Sometimes care looks like not taking over.

Different skills require different reps

Not every kind of growth asks the same thing from us.

Some skills require endurance. The ability to stay with something long enough for change to take root.

Some require courage. The willingness to speak, choose, act or take responsibility.

Some require flexibility. The ability to adapt, reconsider or let go of control.

And some require recovery. Because growth is not strengthened by constantly pushing beyond our capacity.

Even training includes rest. The point is not to push harder at all times.

The point is to learn the difference between recovery and avoidance.

Between support and dependence. Between understanding a skill and actually practising it.

You do not have to master it today

Growth does not mean getting everything right the first time.

It means giving ourselves enough opportunities to practise what matters.

One boundary. One conversation. One different response. One moment of staying instead of escaping.

One task we usually hand to someone else. One attempt to do it ourselves.

And when life gives us another opportunity:

Another rep. And another. Until one day we notice that something which once required enormous effort has become a little more natural.

Not perfect. Just stronger.

That is often how growth happens. Quietly. Through repetition.

A reflection from the LCA Gym

What are you currently trying to become stronger in?

Which skill do you understand intellectually, but still need to practise in everyday life?

Where do you tend to choose comfort over the rep?

Where might someone else be doing reps that actually belong to you?

And what would one realistic rep look like today?

You do not have to master it.

You just have to keep practising.

Insight can open the door.
Practice helps us walk through it.